It may feel that today’s world is more divided than ever when discussing politics.  While our initial course of action may involve doing our best to avoid or minimize such intense conversations, they still easily creep into our daily life.  They can be prompted by some new policy development, something we hear on the news or someone around us oversharing their position.  SO, avoiding doesn’t always work.  The next course of action is typically setting boundaries around potentially divisive topics.  Setting boundaries is important because boundaries help us maintain relationships with other people, they protect our mental health, and they preserve a sense of personal peace. 

A few boundaries that you can think about using –

• Use “I” statements
• Be direct
• Setting time limits

This could look like-

“Sure, I am open to discuss this for 10 minutes, but then I’d like to move on to another topic of conversation.” 

“Honestly, with everything going on in the world, political discussions are stressing me out.  I’d would like to talk about something else instead.”

“I can see your enthusiasm and I appreciate your interest in discussing this, but I prefer not to talk about politics.”

Another strategy is working to find common ground.  Working to understand the other person’s point of view is not the same thing as agreeing with them. When we feel gridlocked on perspectives, it can be helpful to ask a few questions that underlie their perspective. 

• What does your position mean to you? 
• What values/experiences have led you to feel and think this way? 
• How can we both achieve what we want?

When fostering conversations, work to avoid shaming the other individual.  This will ONLY elicit defensiveness and fuel the person to shut down.  It is also helpful to avoid bombarding them with contradictory evidence.  Again, this tactic only fuels disconnect.  Ask them questions that help encourage them to be curious about what motivates them to have their perspective. 

Divisive conversations are going to happen.  The goal is how to navigate them. t the same time honoring each other’s uniqueness.